designation unknown
by musicalpsychology
Summary: The truth is not always what it seems. AU. Season 2. R&R. Don't hate.
1. Chapter 1

He had two pieces of jewelery in his life.

Years past, before broken hearts and a web of deceit, he'd had a necklace. One necklace, which spawned into many. One that began as a token of faith, of love, but became a calling card. A sign for each victim, for the faith they did not have. A necklace found and kept, a necklace to strangle with, to decorate afterward. Years past, and he'd had the world at his fingertips. His oyster, his future bright. So, he was a little messed up, he liked to pull teeth and make the faithless suffer. That was no matter now. It was only that necklace that made sense to him.

Shoved down deep in a pocket, or pushed away into a drawer, in a false bottom. Wherever it was, it called to him. It grounded him, and it gave him hope. Anchored his faith. That necklace gave him the will to carry on each day, to pretend to be someone he was not. A cage fighter, a bike messenger. A womanizer, a joker. Someone who didn't long to just tell stories and watch eyes light up. Someone who hadn't gone through hell and come back scathed, damaged. Each day, a new day for lies and hurt, to bring chaos and trouble to whoever he came across, but not for reasons of his own. Not for Alec's reasons, the lovable rogue. Alec's mind was never present at all.

He snapped out of a 'stupor' at the sound of Max's voice, watched her eyes roll as she assumed what he'd been thinking of, that perhaps he wasn't thinking at all, just dumbstruck. If only she knew how wrong she was. How stupid she was. For a genetic experiment, she never had any real clue as to what he was pondering. Where his mind had been. But on came that smile, that slapped on fake grin of his that he knew could light up the whole damn room if he just let it. "Aw, Maxie, c'mon.. don't be like that." He grinned, using that old nickname just for kicks. Once, it had bothered her, but nowadays she ran with it, causing him to smile even wider. She was accepting him, and his ways. She was making room in her life for Alec. Lovable, playful Alec. The best friend she always needed, and that security blanket she'd never really had. He could make her feel safe, even when she wasn't.

"Like what? Pissed at you for actually doing a job wrong? Gee, Alec, why would I stop doing what comes naturally?" She paused, and he watched her lick her lips, watched the way she pretended to think for that shining moment. "Never mind. You naturally do things wrong anyway. I can't be mad at you for that." She rolled her eyes again, walked away, hair whipping over her shoulder. The hurt she tried to cause him rolled right off his back, green eyes following her, shooting daggers at her back as she walked away, kept on walking. Up that ramp and out the door with her bicycle. Then she was gone, out of sight, and out of mind. He could forget her in an instant, but he didn't, only became distracted. Original Cindy, all up in his face, complaining about the shit he'd done this time. About how he was letting a 'sista' down, and he had to step up his game. That his pretty little Manticore head had better figure out where his brain got zapped to before someone actually got hurt. He fought the urge to take his own turn at eye rolling, instead nodding a few times, blinking long lashes and looking away from the colored woman, shaking his head.

"I'm sorry, it won't happen again." he uttered, dropping his pitch a little to convey his apology. "I don't know where my head's at lately.. "

"Well, Boo, you better find it. And fast. 'Cause Normal's comin' your way and he does not look happy with you, Gladiator Boy."

He could sense the other man coming closer, but turned anyway, just as Cindy slipped away to watch from a distance. Red in the face and with a light sheen across his forehead, Reagan Ronald was adjusting his specs and shaking his head, coming closer with small steps attempted to appear large, stomped. "Alec!" His voice was stiff, strong, but not quite as angry as it might have been for anybody else. Normal had a soft spot for his Gladiator, his Golden Boy, his Romeo. "_Why_ am I hearing that none of your deliveries made it back to their homes?"

"I was gonna do that, but then.."

"Buh-buh-buh.. no buts, I don't want to hear buts. I want to know why. Right now."

The only way out was a lie. The truth wouldn't get him anywhere. The truth about how he couldn't go to some parts of town, that would only get him fired or questioned. Neither of which were at the top of his list.

"I'm really not feeling so great right now, boss. I think it's catching."

"What's catching?"

"The, uh.. the new.. virus. Yeah. I heard through one of the tabloids that there's a virus going around, from those, uh.. transgenics or whatever they're called. They're passing it on to us normal-folk. It's awful.. I.."

"Say no more, go home, Alec, we can't have you sick.. everyone else, you're on lock down, NOW!"

_Close._ He chuckled in his head, nodding swiftly before making his way to the exit, getting outside into the familiar pouring rain and cringing. He hated water, and rain was the worst. All that condensation, and the humidity in the summer? It damn near made his skin crawl. Screwing up his nose, the X5 made his way through town, leaving his bike behind. It wasn't a long walk to Joshua's. He could make it there even in the rain, no sweat. The sight of Max's ninja outside, though, that caused for perspiration.

"Max.." More of a statement than a question, for he knew that she was there. If not for the bike, he could smell her in the house. He could almost taste her presence there. Strong. And she was pissed, too.

"Dammit, Alec, it's bad enough Normal gave me all of your extra rounds, now he won't even _let_ me work! How the hell am I supposed to afford anything anymore?" She growled at him, and he didn't pause, didn't talk himself out of the eye roll. Perfectly sculpted eyes rolled back in their sockets, showing bright white and a flutter of lash before they returned to their place to look at her reaction. "God, why are you such an _idiot_? It's like they forgot something when they made you!" That one stung.

"Look, it was either tell him there was a rumor about illness at work, or tell him the big secret we're not supposed to tell anyone, so I made the call.. Don't judge me for doing the right thing, Max. I'd take stealing like a swamp-rat and never having to work again over being locked in a fuckin' cage any day." He hadn't meant to swear. Cussing wasn't one of the things he did often. Sure, he was a rogue, but cussing was a bit lower than his standards. He just slept around, just had his fun. Drank a lot but was never drunk. Could never forget. But cussing? It was a whole new breed of animal. It wasn't Alec. Max could tell. The look in her eyes changed, something flashed in there, like recognition, and like fear. He was changing right before her very eyes, being someone she didn't, and if truth was to be told, he could tell that she at least cared for him a little. Their banter was mostly friendly.

"Thanks.." Her usually loud voice was quiet. Smooth and honest. She meant to be grateful, and she was. He simply nodded. "Joshua's not around. I came here to find him and maybe hang out a little since I can't go to work, but.. he's not here. I checked the sewers already, he's not there either. I told him not to go outside..." She sounded pained, frightened, her dark, round eyes turning downwards onto the floor and closing. "I just hope he comes back in one piece. I know I mother him a lot, but.. it's important."

"Of course it is. Taking care of each other is the only way our kind can survive. I get it, Max. You love the oaf. He'll show up. Promise. He's prob'ly just takin' a leak against a tree somewhere, marking his doggie territory." He joked with her, as always, that raise of his voice fading into the past as if it had never happened. She shook her head, looked up at him, eyes still gleaming with sorrow and worry. "I promise, he'll be fine. Do you trust me?" She nodded, albeit with a good degree of hesitation. "Then he'll be fine. I can feel it."

"I don't know where else to look.."

"Then don't. He'll come back on his own. He's.. I dunno, pushing his boundaries? He should be at the teenager phase by now, right? He'll come back. Probably after curfew." She shoved at him and he scowled, mocked pain at her jabs. "Ow, jeez, Maxie.." He chuckled, stepping back from her. The windows were grimy, but on the outside, he could see the steady sheet of rain that spread out over Seattle, and the darkness of the sky. Night was falling, and so were the clouds. "I was just coming by to check on Josh, see if he was out of any supplies, but you're here, so I guess he's pretty set for the night."

"You're leaving now? I just told you, he's not here. That kinda classifies as missing in action, Alec."

"Yeah, but he's only AWOL and he's not FUBAR, so I can live with MIA for one night." He joked, snickering a little at his own wordplay. Max only glared him at, showing how deeply she did not understand his personality. His jokes weren't funny to her, and his logic just didn't match with hers. She was crazy, at times. Lord knew he was probably crazier. With a shake of his blond head, back into the rain he went, to walking in his least favorite weather condition back to his apartment. He needed to clear his head. To be alone. The heavens opened up to drown every catlike portion of his DNA, and he growled, pushing his hands further into his pockets as he went. Further and further, fingers closing. The necklace, always hiding just out of sight. Two of them. Between finger and thumb, he rubbed the metal, taking faster steps. He needed the alone time now more than ever. He needed to be away from these people, from Max, the traitor. He needed to figure out what he was doing, why he was still doing it. He needed to rest for a while.

His bed was cosy and warm, despite the weather and the chaos of Seattle. He'd found a good guy to get him everything he needed, and he had the money and the skills to get exactly what he wanted from whomever he wanted. It wasn't a hard thing to do when you had the genetics to knock out guards without breaking a sweat, or the medical training to pull teeth like a normal extraction. He lay down on the mattress, a long sigh filling the room. Today had been hard. Tomorrow would be harder. And the next day, and the next. He closed emerald green eyes and took a deep breath.

"Okay, Ben. You can do this. You've fooled them this far, just keep up the good work." A pep talk he gave himself, the only time he was truly himself. "You can do it, or my designation's not X5R-493."


	2. Chapter 2

That second piece of jewelery. He hadn't meant to get so close.

Another token of violence, of a time shrouded in mystery and intrigue. His life had been a soap opera, with fake names and love affairs, piano lessons and rich fathers. Manticore had planned it out that way. He was not Ben, he was Alec, and his first mission as Alec was focused on a change of identity. They had a sick sense of humor, his handlers, but he would always do as he was told. He was Alec now, just as they'd planned. 494, a new soldier, a new breed of soldier. Just as he was told to be. That smirk of his, the grin, the sense of humor, all invented by the men and women who brought him back from the dead, brainwashed him, reindoctrinated him. Lydecker was there, and Renfro. Both of them, watching him, studying and making sure that he was ready. That he could handle so many identity switches so quickly after his spine had been snapped at the neck.

This was who he was now. This new person, remade; a clone, they called him, using all of their smarts to turn him into a completely different man. He looked the same, by god, he barely even looked any older than the very day he'd been killed. The barcode on the back of his neck, altered, one digit added – 494, never 3. His entire self was gone – the killer, the rebel. Now he was a good little soldier, with an attitude that chopped and changed as the days went by. For the first day, he'd barely learnt to express himself. No longer was it acceptable to only be learning words, orders, sir, ma'am. Now he was to learn insults, taunts, the smile, the laugh. That little chuckle that reverberated inside his chest before he let it free. It was musical, and hard to master. Not a true laugh. He barely had the strength for anything honest.

He was erased and built back up into this new person, and then thrust right into the atmosphere he was least ready for. Mission number one as X5-494 was to be Simon. To be built up, and subsequently torn down. Take on a new guise and get the job done, swiftly, efficiently. The perfect soldier. He hadn't meant to get so close.

She was beautiful, in a way that Max was not. Max had never been, not like this. Her hair was soft, her eyes too. Everything about her – soft. There was no hidden agenda for her, no need to use him, no barked orders, no darkness. She was sweet and soft and pure, with real love in her eyes, and deep emotion buried in her heart. He had every reason to fall in love with her, as Simon, as 494, even as Ben. He remembered himself, even when they thought he didn't. When all was assumed lost, and he was convinced of his new self, he knew that he was not always 494. Not always the smart-ass, not always able to grin so freely, or smirk like he knew sex for all it was. As Simon, he fell for her first. The newest personality, this one they'd forced upon him, was perfect for hers. As if they'd known. The bastards.

The more he was sure that Simon would love her, the more it began to really happen. That it was not his imagination that produced love, but real love. Ben had fallen for her. Her pure, beautiful nature and musical talent called out to his storytelling heart, causing it to race and skip, his voice no longer that given to him by reindoctrination. This was not a time for Alec, or even Simon. He spoke softly, and with hesitation, as his breath caught in his throat. It was too late to turn back now, too late not to raise his voice as his handlers, or struggle against them as they grabbed his arms, pulled him away. Ben had fallen in love, and then she'd been taken away from was gone. He was gone. 494 pushed Ben far away, back into the dark recesses of his mind, where he did not belong. He allowed the disguise to take over, to become him. 494, every day of the month, the year. That quiet side disappeared, only to hide his despair. To forget her. And for a while, it worked.

He laid down on Joshua's crusty, mouldy old sofa, one hand in his coat pocket, the other behind his head. His right thumb rolled right over the second necklace, his other lady. One day, he knew he'd snap. That this was too hard to deal with. Max thought she knew him, but she couldn't know anything. She didn't even know his designation, didn't recognise that his barcode had really been altered with gene splicing and replacement therapy. She knew nothing of him, from identity to personality, from history to the very sound of his voice. 494, so loud, cocky, a menace to those who wanted silence, and a friend to women all over the city, was never who he really was.

Thumbing at the necklace, he found the other, hidden much deeper into his pocket, and took a deeper breath, closed his eyes. He held off the urge to snap every day. The urge to tell her the truth, to break her heart that way. To tell her that Ben knew what she did, and that even if he'd wanted her to do it, a major part of his genetically perfect heart was pissed. That he was not resting in peace, but harvested in a way. His body re-used, every part of him back to a functioning level, although not entirely normal.

The roar of a motorcycle engine woke him up, Joshua laying on the floor beside him. They both sat bolt upright, Ben's fingers letting go of the necklaces in his coat, and shoving them down low. The slightest glimpse of their shiny metal surfaces would have Max in a flurry, asking questions and raising his temper, making him want to flare up, and scream in her face. Some days, he really wanted to see that fear. For the confident darkness within her eyes to dissipate and become a genuine terror for herself, and her physical safety. Would he hit her? Would he do worse? What could such a confused and twisted mind come up with to make her eyes show such horror?

"Joshua? Hey, big fe- Oh. Alec." She stopped, excitement over seeing her best friend cut off by her shock that someone had beat her to it. She smiled politely, somehow managing to roll her eyes in unison. "What do you want?"

"Max, charming as ever.." he replied, sarcastic, one hundred percent the remodeled man. "Don't mind me, just catching some shut eye before hitting the road again. Got a big date tonight." He said, laying himself back down on Joshua's sofa just in time to receive a smack across the head.

"It's not your sofa, Alec. You wanna sleep, go back to your own apartment, don't make Joshua, here, sleep on the floor."

"Joshua likes the floor." The Big Fella finally took a place in the conversation, having flinched at the attack on Alec's cranium. "Alec hurt, Joshua let him have the sofa."

"You're hurt?" Max's attack immediately took on a more concerned tone, although her anger was still carrying, one hundred percent. Only Max could make worry sound like blame.

"I fell off my bike." He mutered, shaking his head only slightly, and rubbing at his head. "Don't act like you care."

"How did _you _fall off a bike? We're not designed to make mistakes, Alec."

"Right, yeah, you really do care. Thanks, Maxie, I just love it when you show your affection that way. Fuck off." He closed his eyes, mouth shutting after the last of his sarcasm drained into complete anger, a real, deep hatred. She shut up, almost immediately. There was the cussing again. The tone. Alec wasn't quite Alec anymore. There went the banter, and the cockiness. He could feel it slipping away every time he spoke to her these days. It took that little bit of extra effort to smile, that tiny bit more strength to make emerald eyes dance like they used to. The slightest of struggles, one after the other, all leading towards one collossally dangerous destination.

She moved across the room and disappeared from it, outside, into the never-fresh air of Seattle. He could hear her breathing against the wind, and the sound of her hair whipping against her cheeks and shoulders. He could feel the way she'd left the door open. Maybe she hoped he'd follow, apologize. It was in Alec's nature to do so. To fight only briefly, to want better for them both in the future. He was sure that some days, Max even wanted some affection from that cocky smartass. That she perhaps dreamt of a life together. Deluded, especially for an X-series, but enough of a good dream that once, he'd had it for himself. Before he realized that Ben was her brother. Alec may have been her clone, and not exactly the same thing; they hadn't grown up together.. but him? The real person in there? Ben. Brother. Childhood storyteller who held her hands when she couldn't sleep or had the shakes.

He didn't follow her out until the very last moment. He didn't want to at all, but it had to be done. The charade had to be kept up. If he let it go so soon, she'd ask questions. She'd hound him, following, researching, looking into every nook and cranny of his life. It had happened last time he'd distanced himself from her, and he hadn't handled it then. This would be just as bad; perhaps worse. He heard her sigh from the front patio, tugging at her cycling gloves, unfolding her arms from her chest and taking one step back towards the road. That was his moment. When she'd lost her faith, lost hope in him. Again.

"Max, m'sorry.. I.. I didn't mean that. I just.. my head hurts so much, I shouldn't have snapped at you like that. I'm sorry. Forgive me?" He stayed just inside the door, voice quiet, carrying right to her transgenic ears. She stopped, turning, dark eyes meeting with his.

"What's gotten into you lately, Alec? You're swearing at me, and in front of Joshua.. you're angry all the time. More than me, even."

"I know.. I'm sorry. Maxie, please.. my shout later? A whole pitcher, not just a glass like last time."

"Okay.." She nodded a little, the hurt clear in her eyes. He'd never really answered her questions. Not from the beginning, definitely not now. He knew the way she looked whenever he avoided it.

"Can I go back to my catnap now?"

"Sure, whatever.. " She turned away, hair whipping over her shoulder, and left. Ben's eyes rolled a little at the vision of her riding away, no helmet, only sunglasses to shield her pretty face from the harsh reality of whatever crash would come her way were she human. His feet dragged as he trudged back to the sofa and laid down on it, fingers immediately returning to their safe haven, that soft spot in the bottom of his pocket, metallic tingling against his fingernails as they collided. He could close his eyes then, and only then. Could relax when he had those momentos wrapped tightly around his fingers, chainlinks digging into his skin, strong enough to bruise, tight enough to turn his digits blue.

Then he could relax, then he could be free. Heart soaring for the memories he'd made. Soul weeping for every moment of his life so far. One day he wouldn't be able to apologize anymore. The damage would be too great, the moment of surrender not his. He'd known right from Alec's birth that one day, she would have to pay. He just wasn't sure exactly when that day would come.


End file.
